Rishikesh: Where The Ganga Flows On

Rishikesh is the abode of the Rishis (sages) and has been ever since time immemorial. I first came here from the UK back in the ‘80s at a time when it was like a jungle. We stayed at the government guest house, as back then, there were barely any places to stay or eat. We would walk the stretch of the Ganges from Ram Jhula to Laxman Jhula, and would see the sadhus pop out of their huts to gather water from the Ganga river for their daily use. We would meet a few people along the way — foreigners and Indians — and when I say a few, I mean, really only a few. 

It was another world, and there were no buildings to be seen in Rishikesh apart from the little huts of the Sadhus.

It was quite idyllic. Monkeys wandered everywhere, along with cows, and that’s about all that ever happened there. An era from that time has passed.

In contrast, in today’s Rishikesh, we see buildings and people galore. Back-to-back traffic and fumes choke us on its main road that runs high along the river.

Yoga Schools and Healing Centres

The influx of tourists, both Indian and foreign has been responsible for this along with an increasing desire for money from local businessmen. There are buildings everywhere. These include hotels, restaurants, and guest houses, as well as about 300 yoga schools and 100 healing centres. 

The town might have been transformed, but for many, apart from the adventure sport tourists who come for river rafting, the purpose of the visit remains the same — to find oneself. 

Hordes of spiritual tourists come here seeking peace and solace, but amidst the yoga and healing bazaars, some don’t know where to turn to and end up ‘shopping’ and hopping from centre to centre.

In recent decades, Rishikesh has seen the advent of adventure sports where a host of young Indian tourists from the metro cities come for rafting and bungee jumping. Rishikesh is a dry city, but on its outskirts where these adventure camps set up their tents along the banks of the Ganga, merrymakers light camp fires every evening revelling with their music and crates of beer. They care not that Rishikesh is a dry city (alcohol free) where everyone is vegetarian. Will Rishikesh be able to keep its vibrations pure and pollution-free?

But for the pilgrim, a visit to Rishikesh is a journey of a lifetime, a time to dip and pray to the holy Ganga river, before heading up further to visit the holy places in the Himalayas. Then there are the trekkers and nature explorers, both Indian and foreign, who use Rishikesh as a stopping point before heading to higher altitudes for further explorations.

But despite this, Rishikesh has a certain deep, feel-good factor. It is this that makes the pilgrim return to it repeatedly. Maybe, it was the deep meditation of the Rishis that makes Rishikesh magnetic. For some of the foreigners, Rishikesh has become a part-time home, some almost staying here the year round while many others stay for at least six months.

Unfortunately, in recent times, many a foreign tourist has struck Rishikesh off their list due to ongoing constructions, pollution and the ever-burgeoning spiritual bazaars. 

Transactional Marriages

Many of the local Indians have started to see the tourists, especially the foreign ones as cash cows. To attract these tourists, they have learnt to speak English and take on their customs. Many of the locals thirst to go abroad and in many cases, they have married foreigners to do just that. And for some foreign tourists desperate to stay in Indian, there has been the transactional marriage, too. Money changes hands and, hey presto, you have a lifelong visa to stay on for life, so long as your partner does not divorce you.

However, the beautiful Ganga river flows on, as beautifully serene as ever, changing its texture and colour only when the seasons change. The Himalayas remain a scenic and a picturesque backdrop for the rising and setting sun. It is nature, primarily the Ganga which is the life force of the place. Fortunately, this will be the case — no matter what.

Renu Gulati

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Let’s Return To Real Yoga

Let’s end non-Indian organisations’ near monopoly of giving accreditation to yoga schools and restore the concept of unity which yoga teaches us, says Renu Gulati.

Most yoga schools are turning to non-Indian organisations for accreditation. These organisations charge high fees and offer little by way of quality control. Strangely, most yoga schools in the capital of yoga, Rishikesh, are accredited by non-Indian organisations. Ironically, India is paying other countries for a science developed in India. This makes no sense at all.

India is said to be developing its own accreditation system but this is taking time. The question is when this happens, how many people in the world will use it? How many insurance companies will accept its value and offer insurance based on it?

Why should yoga which is holistic be trapped and captured like this? The core values of yoga include non-violence, truth, non-greed and non-theft. Are these values being followed by foreign organisations?

The difficulty is that we need quality control and a yoga teacher cannot be produced in 300 or 500 hours. It is a way of life entrenched in mental hygiene and not gymnastics. The traditional way in India was to sit with a master and be trained over a long period of time, thereby learning and refining your mind and body.

Today’s yoga does not do that in the main. What is the solution? How do we ensure quality control without a country monopolising yoga? Perhaps we could have a global summit whereby all countries come together and create a quality control system and each country has the power to accredit based on the global body’s recommendations.

Yoga is a universal science, not one to be coveted or abused. Its motivation is unity, non-violence, sharing, caring and integrity. I could say India should have the monopoly because yoga came out of India. However, that would go against the non-coveting principles of Yoga.

I know there are many so-called variations in the asana practices, for example Hath to Vinyasa to Iyengar. When I asked my yoga master what type of yoga  should one do, he just laughed and said ‘yoga’. I was a bit taken aback, so I kept my mouth shut and reflected. Yoga comes from the root word in Sanskrit Yuj which means to unite. Yoga is therefore unity. Of course there can be unity in diversity. We are not living in a monotone world.

To conclude, a global yoga teachers’ training accreditation body needs to be formed and the details of the diversity can be handled by them. India would probably have more representatives, as I believe there are more genuine yoga teachers here. Wherever the training is done that country should benefit financially and perhaps India could receive a percentage from the global earnings as Indians would most likely be contributing the most. Would it not be ideal if the profits earned by the global yoga regulatory body were donated to a charitable cause? That would be real yoga ―  service with unity.

Renu Gulati

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Wishing Everlasting Peace For Our Ancestors

Shraadh, a period observed for the everlasting peace of our ancestors began this year on September 1 and will end on September 17. We carry the genes of our ancestors and their attributes and by worshipping them we bring out the best in ourselves, thereby making this world a more harmonious place. This period of time comes annually according to a particular Vedic planetary constellation.

Shraadh begins with Purnima, full moon, and ends with the new moon. This period lasts for about two weeks. According to Vedic astrology, the ancestors normally leave Pitra-loka where they reside to dwell in the home of their descendants. At this time, offerings for the peace and salvation of these souls are performed.

On the new moon day, families ask for the blessings of their ancestors and in the evening, a special lighting of the lamp is performed. This signifies Pitru Vidaai, a final goodbye to the departed souls. During this time, it is believed that after the rituals of Shraadh, their souls will rest in peace.

According to the Srimad Bhagavad Gita, one’s body is destructible but the soul remains immortal. The soul never takes birth nor does it die, but is everlasting. 

The time of Shraadh liberates the soul from the cycle of life and death resulting in salvation. Hence, performing Shraadh during Pitru Paksha is considered extremely important for departed souls to rest in peace so that they will never relive any disharmony that they may be experiencing.

During Shraadh, there are specific rituals that if performed with full faith, devotion, and respect to ensure that the departed souls will rest in peace and will also protect us from all negativity and evil.

Most of the rituals are based on prayer, and offerings of food and water. It is believed that ancestors are appeased by these offerings. 

The Legend Of Shraadh

The significance of Shraadh is best explained in the Mahabharata. After the war between the Kauravas and the Pandavas, when everything ended, and Karna, one of the greatest legends in the war of the Mahabharata died and reached heaven, he was offered food in the form of gold and silver. He questioned Lord Indra about this who replied that all through his life, he had donated gold, diamond, and silver but had never donated any food in the name of his ancestors. Karna replied that he was not aware of his ancestors and had, hence, never done this. As a result, Indra allowed Karna to return to earth for 16 days, during which time he donated food, offered water and performed other actions.

Acts to be Avoided during Shraadh

1. Buying new clothes 

2. Avoid auspicious events like marriage and birth ceremonies 

3. Getting a haircut

4. Consuming non-vegetarian food, alcohol, and tobacco 

5. Eating at others’ homes 

Ancestral worship is not just exclusive to India. It is also well-developed in the Japanese Shinto ancient native religion of Japan and is still practised in a modified form under the influence of Buddhism and Confucianism. It was also important during the later Roman Empire. 

It was prevalent in many parts of the world as totem worship wherein an object such as an animal or plant is revered by members of a particular social group because of a mystical or ritual relationship that exists with that group.

Ancestral worship in other parts of the world was a huge part of ancients who lived in harmony with nature. This was different from what the Vedas teach us. Both have their core values embedded in ahimsa, non-violence.

In the end, the ability to respect where we came from ― our parents and our ancestral lineage ― is important because they are a part of who we are today.

Renu Gulati

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Let’s Blend Our Rich Heritage with Modern Systems

We fought British colonialism valiantly and ended their rule on August 15, 1947. But the vestiges of the Raj continue to haunt some of us in our thinking and more so in our education system. There was so much of merit in our Gurukul system of education, where students were taught by a master, who brought out every child’s innate potential and positivity. Now for our educationists, teaching is more of a business profession. Precious little is left of the Gurukul model.

While we talk about patriotism, many young men and women are happier studying in foreign universities and securing fancy degrees at exorbitant costs, creating a drain on our national exchequer. These youngsters then quite often stay abroad and work on lucrative jobs. As Non-Resident Indians, they command a great deal of respect and power. Those that return are considered even superior to their peers, who have been faithful to their motherland and studied in top Indian universities. Let’s face it ― we consider a person with a foreign MBA more qualified than an Indian MBA. Why the job market, even in the marriage market, a foreign returned son-in-law is a more attractive proposition than an indigenous groom. Isn’t that a shame?

And there is a rush for immigration, like the gold rush. For it seems that the streets of the West are paved with gold. Indians, indeed, are welcomed in foreign lands. The West treats them like treasures. India produces some of the most highly intelligent people in the Western meaning of the word. They hold leading global positions in many fields from medical to legal to business to IT. If all those of Indian origin born abroad or those who have migrated or are working in foreign countries were to return to India, the Indian economy would be boosted manifold, while other national economies may collapse. But will this ever happen? Will every Indian place national interest above self-interest?

It would be of great interest to know how much of Indian history we teach our students, in comparison to what other countries teach their children about their own country’s history.  Indian history goes back to the Vedas which is at least 5,000 years old or beyond. How much of our school syllabus is devoted to the Vedas? Isn’t our educational system more attuned to Western thought?  How many of our schools, especially the so-called mainstream ones, teach students the meaning of Sanatan Dharma, which means the eternal dharma, which is a life in harmony with the rhythms of nature and non-harm to all that exists. Although the fundamental ‘non-harm’ or ahimsa concept is at the core of Indian knowledge systems, doing harm is permitted for dharma, which, of course, includes self-defence and other situations which uphold dharma.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a British Indian living in India and love India to its core. Though I was born and bred through a western education system, I have chosen to live in India because I feel, despite our long history of colonialism, the core heart of India remains in place. I have studied Sanskrit, and various Indian Knowledge systems as well as Western ones, but I believe the systems of India are the most logical. I come from a mathematics, legal, Sanskrit and Ayurveda background and have the ability to rationalise and use my logic in terms of what could be an expansive educational system in the modern world.

I remember studying for my MSc in Ayurveda in the British Library, a beautiful place full of Indian gems. Rather ironic that I studied an Indian knowledge system there. But you know what, I came to India to study for a Doctor’s degree in Ayurveda, but left because the system of education was an archaic form of British education. The British system on the other hand has moved on in time and the students can be more interactive with the teachers than is the case in India. I also continue to study Ayurveda with my mentor from Kerala, as I believe I have received the real essence of Ayurveda from him.

The monetary power of the West has by far superseded India’s, even though, at one time, our nation was one of the richest countries of the world, both monetarily and culturally. The advertisements depicting the ‘western dream’ have captured the mind of some Indians and this is ever expanding through the internet and other media systems.

India was and is a very tolerant and giving nation as the country believes in ahimsa and does not shove her teachings down others’ throats. The West tried to destroy India by attempting to erode her spirituality. Our modernised education system was misused for this purpose. But, we fought for our Independence and won. We must now fight for the return of those glorious days of the past by blending it with the goodness of present-day modern systems.

Renu Gulati

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Your Marriage Should be Based on Dharma

We all think about love and use the word regularly. But what does the word actually mean?

We say ‘falling in love’, but perhaps we must amend that to ‘rising in love’. Love to me is a state of freedom where there is no oppression but open communication. I am not referring only to conjugal relationships, but to any type of relationship, whether with your parents, siblings or friends. All relationships must be based on dharma or non-harm, according to Ayurveda. All relationships require humility and respect and Ayurveda says we can even learn from an ant. When we are open to learn, our buddhi,  the power to differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate, expands. When we live in dharma, then dharma supports us. In other words, when we live a non-harmful, respectful life, the laws of nature support us.

I love my version of the saying, ‘let a bird go free and if it was yours to be, it shall be back to thee’. Deep soul relationships can never be destroyed regardless of what goes on in the relationship. These relationships are nurtured by qualities such as honesty, integrity and respect, all integral aspects of dharma. 

In conjugal or romantic relationships, the ‘short-term pleasure kick’ never works for long, and neither is it particularly healthy for individuals, families and societies. On the other hand, both parties of a relationship need freedom to fulfil their innate potential. No one should be suppressed or feel oppressed.

People talk so glibly when they say, ‘shaadi barbadi’, which means that marriage is the equivalent of destroying your life. It has become fashionable to say this now. I also hear this: ‘ teen din ki chandani raat, phir andheri raat’ ― three days of moonshine followed by everlasting darkness. All I can say is that these popular sayings about marriage were literally unheard of 15 or so years ago.

To me, marriage is a wonderful union, if based on dharma. It is an important part of most religions in the world and is an integral part of uniting society. In traditional India, marriages united families as well. In this way, a healthier society was created.

However, I have seen too much possession, obsession and suppression around women in today’s world. I also hear from men that they are provoked and that, they too suffer from psycho-emotional abuse. Whatever the case, open communication leading to dharma is the only way to peace. No amount of blame will help the situation nor will the oppression of human rights.

In this new millennium, ‘live in’ and ‘free relationships’ are becoming popular. However, these new traditions go somewhat against the ancient religious traditions or Sanatan Dharma; however, if there is commitment in the heart and there is dharma, then perhaps the situation is different. Free relationships, wherein the partners can choose other partners while still remaining within the main relationship may never work. In Ayurveda, promiscuity is said to lead to disease.

Modern India knows two types of marriage: love marriage and arranged marriage, yet eight types of marriage have been defined in the ancient scriptures of India. These are described in the Manu Smriti.

The Laws of Manu outlines eight types of marriages that existed in ancient Hindu life. The first four forms of marriage were known as Prashasta forms. All four were regarded as approved forms, although the approval existed in different degrees, with Brahmana clearly superior to the other three. The last four forms of marriage, which were known as Aprashasta forms, were regarded as undesirable.

Prashasta Forms of Marriage

1. Rite of Brahmana (Brahma): In this form of marriage, the bride’s father chooses a man learned in the Vedas who is known for good conduct. The father gives his daughter in marriage to the groom. The bride is dressed in jewels and costly garments. This is considered the best type of marriage and still exists in modern India, where carefully arranged marriages are the norm. However, Brahmana has been sullied through the practice of dowry payments among various groups.
2. Rite of the Gods (Daiva): In this form, the daughter is groomed with ornaments and “gifted” to a priest who duly officiates over the wedding ceremony, during which a sacrifice is performed. Even in ancient times, this form was inferior to Brahmana, and was largely discontinued.
3. Rite of the Rishis (Arsha): In this variation, the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the bridegroom. This was not considered a form of payment or dowry, but looked upon as a gift of appreciation. But because it resembled a “sale” of the bride, it was considered an inferior form of marriage and was gradually discontinued.
4. Rite of the Prajapati (Prajapatya): Here, the father gives away his daughter after blessing the couple by reciting the words, “May both of you perform together your dharma.” The couple is expected to perform civic and religious duties together, and because these duties are imposed on the couple as a condition of marriage, Prajapati is considered the least desirable of the four Prashasta forms. 

Aprashasta Forms of Marriage

1. Rite of the Asuras (Demons): In this form of marriage, the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the bride and her kinsmen. It is regarded as the selling of a bride, and was considered greatly inferior to the four Prashasta forms of marriage. It is no longer practiced among Hindus.
2. Rite of the Gandharva: This form of marriage involves the voluntary union of a maiden and her lover arising out of physical desire and sexual intercourse. Although it resembles the western marriage system in that it arises out of the free choice of the couples, it is not in practice in modern India, although a similar type of marriage commonly known as “love marriage” exists.
3. Rite of the Rakshasa: This is the forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses invaded. This violent, forcible form of marriage thankfully no longer exists and would be totally illegal.
4. Rite of the Pisaka: In this form, a man uses stealth to seduce a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally imbalanced or handicapped. It is hard to distinguish such a form of “marriage” from rape, and certainly does not exist in a civilised society. 

One may well ask how these marriages have even been defined in an ancient respected text. The fact that they were mentioned gives them a sort of validity. Thankfully, our legal system has thrown these out.

The best form is a marriage based on dharma. Only that is everlasting, peaceful and happy.

Renu Gulati

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The Woman Goddess in Modern India

This article relates to my experiences in India. This is not to say that what I have written here does not happen across the globe. Don’t get me wrong―I love India more than any other place. However, I am dismayed with the ‘woman slavery’ attitude of most Indian men. Today I was told by an Indian man living abroad that he wants his wife to do exactly as he says or else the marriage will not be harmonious. The man must lead regardless of his inappropriate thinking was the clear message I got from the conversation and I rushed to my laptop to write this article, not sure whether a website that talks of everything positive would publish the reality about what’s really going on in beautiful India.

India is a culture where the feminine is revered as a Goddess. What happened? How did the Goddess become a slave? Even, I as a highly educated western born and bred woman as well as a lawyer, fell prey to this for many years. The romantic, mesmerising love you see in Bollywood is fantasy when compared to what happens in many homes across India. Slavery and manipulation of women is the reality here. This is a state where a woman loses her confidence over a period of time and submits to her husband all the time. She loses her own self-expression and this can potentially make her prey to psychological and psychosomatic diseases.

India is a large culture that believes in the protection of women so that they can be sheltered from other male predators, due to their so-called lack of physical strength and internal fragility. The scriptures say that women should always be protected by males in the family, such as father, son or husband. There are exceptions such as when a woman wishes to become a renunciate or nun-like figure. India has many examples of these such as the well-known Anandamayi Ma, Mirabai and others.

These days, however, are men at large protecting women? Women, for example, are out in the jungles of India, carrying huge loads of wood from the jungles on their head to make fires for cooking while many-a-man there is drinking alcohol and gambling. Even among the more educated classes, women are out all day, doing, what can be, a highly pressurised job. Regardless of this role reversal, men in general still require the same level of submission on the part of the women. Women are often beaten up if they don’t submit or are psycho-emotionally tortured.

Some women submit to this, others find intelligent ways of knowing the psychology of a man to make the marriage work. What happened to the worship of women as goddesses and the numerous references in the scriptures where it is said that if a woman is not respected, the family will fall apart and in turn, society? This is what we see in India, in general―the breakdown of families and societies. In turn this has an adverse effect on society and on the cohesiveness of the country.

I am not saying men are not victimised or provoked in any way, but this article is focussing on the disrespect of women in a culture where women were once held in high esteem.. As a lawyer and as a woman I worked in the North East of England in the areas of matrimonial law and managing a refuge for Black women. I certainly saw situations there where women were victims of abuse. In India, I work with disempowered women, providing them healthy work at home as well as awareness on what it means to be an empowered woman, who can fulfil her innate potential. My experience is that the issue of abuse of women is not as prevalent in western culture as it is in Indian culture.

We have two primary festivals here lasting nine days each, where the Goddesses are worshiped. We have particular prayers for each Goddess and at the end of each festival, young, pre-menstruation girls are fed, adorned and worshipped. There are festivals for when a girl starts her periods to celebrate her rite of passage into womanhood. The woman is washed and adorned beautifully. There are special temples for each Goddess. The various Goddesses represent the divine feminine attributes from creativity and learning to even destruction.

Are these festivals just empty rituals now? In the main it seems so. The dreams of Bollywood shattered and the wisdom of the ancients losing its footing is a sad scenario. Hey, but hang on. All is not lost. Divorce is still considered taboo in India, but less so nowadays. There is small but growing band of financially independent women, who are stepping out of abusive marriages. 

While the absolute number of divorces has gone up from 1 in 1,000 to 13 in 1,000 over the last decade or so, India still remains at the top of the list of countries with the lowest divorce rates. One might take some small consolation from the fact that statistically or quantitatively, we are not as bad as our Western counterparts. Looked at superficially, this fact may be seen like a silver lining to the dark cloud of ‘woman slavery’, but this still doesn’t augur well for our sanskriti or culture. However, I am an incorrigible optimist and hope that our ubiquitous worship of Divine Mother may transmute into respect for Indian women in the role of a wife, if not soon but some time later.

Renu Gulati

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• Women's Empowerment and International Women's Day
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